The Warrington

Address: 93 Warrington Crescent, W9 1EH

Nearest Station: Maida Vale

Welcome: Adequate; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Good

Cost of two pints and a cider: £12.00 (Young’s Bitter)

Guest: Jim; Word: Lavish; Person: Woody, Toy Story

Rating: 7.5/10

Perhaps the clue was in the name.  ‘The Warrington Hotel’ doesn’t sound like the average pub.  And even without the name, the sign outside (complete with Latin motto: constantia et labore) and wide sweeping staircase just within made clear that this is no standalone public house.  Greeted by the happy chatter of many different accents and languages, we quickly realised that The Warrington is less pub and more hotel bar.

The Cow

Address: 89 Westbourne Park Road, W2 5QH

Nearest Station: Royal Oak

Welcome: Adequate; Service: Adequate (SIT); Beer: Adequate; Toilets: Basic

Cost of two pints: £9.00 (Landlord)

Guest: Jim; Word: Fishy; Person: Charlie Chaplin

Rating: 6/10

There are some pubs that survive by finding a speciality and building a small but dedicated following among the local community.  The Cow is a textbook example.  Their speciality is advertised on a sign above the door – “Guinness and Oysters” – with the theme continuing inside, from Guinness stools to a Dali-esque painting of crayfish.  And at the bar we found two old men, clearly regulars who knew the script, supping their pints of Guinness, and no doubt preparing to order some shellfish.

Britannia

Address: 1 Allen Street, W8 6UX

Nearest Station: High Street Kensington

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Good

Cost of two pints and a glass of wine: £14.34 (Young’s Bitter)

Guest: Mum; Word: Eclectic; Person: Rupert Penry-Jones

Rating: 8/10

We were never expecting to find a cramped local boozer in Kensington, but the Britannia is really at the other end of the spectrum.  With Young’s Bitter, Special, Hummingbird, and Bombardier on tap, it’s a Young’s pub but not as you know it: here the picture of the Queen Mother pulling a pint is framed in regal gold.  In fact, with such a strong emphasis on food over ale, it’s not much like a pub at all.

The Queen’s Arms

Address: 30 Queen’s Gate Mews, SW7 5QL

Nearest Station: Gloucester Road

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Good

Cost of two pints and a glass of wine: £14.75 (Doombar)

Guest: Mum; Word: Light-hearted; Person: Ben Fogle

Rating: 8/10

After our tumultuous trip to Deptford, we were looking forward to a quiet pint among the elegance of Kensington.  Alas, it was not to be.  Fortunately for the other punters at The Queen’s Arms, all the tension was confined to our table – with Dad arguing that the pub deserved only 8/10, and Mum passionately making the case for 8.5.  (For the record, it was clearly an 8.)  Everyone else seemed to be enjoying the relaxed atmosphere and charming bonhomie: The Queen’s Arms is a pub entirely devoid of animosity.

The Euston Tap

Address: 190 Euston Road, NW1 2EF

Nearest Station: Euston

Welcome: Adequate; Service: Good (Not SIT); Beer: Good

Cost of two pints: £7.00 (Magic Rock Rapture and Hopspur Redemption)

Rating: 7/10

I knew quite quickly that this would be one of the shortest reviews I had to write.  There really isn’t much I can say about The Euston Tap.  Given its proximity to Euston station, it took us a surprisingly long time to find, but we eventually spotted the neon sign in the middle of the road just opposite the terminus.  It’s a tall stone building, marked on the outside with the names of stations.  (Its mirror, opposite, is The Cider Tap under the same management.)  A large crowd had gathered in front of the door, parted by metal barriers to allow pedestrians to pass.  Inside, the bar seemed tiny, with a gentle but constant scrum waiting for service.  A small spiral staircase in one corner hinted at an upstairs, but our attention was drawn to the bar, with taps affixed to the wall behind, and blackboards bearing the hastily scrawled names of the drinks on offer without explanation or description.  Already it had the feel of an American micro-brewery, and not a traditional English pub.

The Gunmakers

Address: 13 Eyre Street Hill, EC1R 5ET

Nearest Station: Farringdon

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Basic

Cost of two pints: £7.80 (Harvey’s Sussex Best Bitter)

Guest: Rick; Word: Mismatch; Person: Reggie Kray

Rating: 8/10

“I quite like the atmosphere in here,” said Dad, and indeed it’s the pleasant atmosphere which dominated our impression of The Gunmakers.  Excited chatter filled the air from groups gathered round plain wooden tables.  The bar staff – a tattooed version of 118 118 – were friendly, and the pub consequently welcoming.  We sensed that this wasn’t quite a student-filled establishment, but perhaps it was dominated by recent graduates, appreciating the characterful yet understated decoration and the straight-forward food and drink on offer.  It might not be London’s most remarkable pub, but we enjoyed our time there.

The Cittie of Yorke

Address: 22 High Holborn, WC1V 6BN

Nearest Station: Chancery Lane

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Basic

Cost of two pints: £5.80 (Sam Smith’s Old Brewery Bitter)

Guest: Rick; Word: Hogwarts; Person: Father Ted

Rating: 8/10

“You feel as though you’re in history here,” Rick said.  “You think there might be a big owl, coming to swoop you up.”  For Rick, it seems, Harry Potter is a matter of historical fact, so when he picked ‘Hogwarts’ as his word to describe The Cittie of Yorke, we understood it to refer to the heritage of the building.  A sign outside proclaims that a public house has stood on the site since 1430.  We discovered from an account by the bar of associations with Henry VI, an earlier incarnation of The Cittie of Yorke as a coffee-house, and of course that London’s most famous drunkard, Charles Dickens, had patronised the site himself.  It took considerably more searching to discover that the present building originates only from the 1920s.  Nevertheless, its style is in keeping with its former incarnations.  One could not possibly imagine the size of the interior from its mock-Tudor façade: it stretches on and on, warehouse-like, a warren of tall, black rooms filled with wooden barrels and a gentle mêlée of happy drinkers.  We found ourselves in a large space, a traditional Sam Smith’s bar to our left underneath shelves of casks; a row of alcoves to the right, each adorned with a table, a portrait, and the initials HR in a nod to the pub’s regal associations; and in between a range of tall tables and barrels around which we could stand.  Stained glass above bore the Sam Smith’s insignia.  Architecturally, The Cittie of Yorke is striking.

The Seven Stars

Address: 53-54 Carey Street, WC2A 2JB

Nearest Station: Chancery Lane

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Basic

Cost of two pints: £7.80 (Adnams Bitter)

Guest: Rick; Word: Bijoux; Person: René Artois, ‘Allo ‘Allo!

Rating: 8/10

Chancery Lane meets Paris in The Seven Stars, a pub which combines tributes to the legal profession with the charm and fittings of a French café.  Outside we found a large crowd, hanging baskets, and the shop front for ‘The Wig Shop’.  Passing through the narrow entrance, on the brown walls of the three rooms we could see posters for legal dramas (such as Trial and Error), pictures of judges and images of old texts.  Drinkers had gathered around the small bar under the pinkish red ceiling; a few had secured places at one of the tables, each covered in a green and white chequered cloth.  The Seven Stars had more esoteric elements too.  There was a photo of an accordion player behind the bar, and another by the window of a black cat wearing a jacket.  A cabinet to the left of the spirits held a violin, books and an exotic figure.  Handwriting on blackboards advertised wine and an extensive food menu, including breaded quail.  Peanuts were served at the bar in brown paper bags, and a small sign above offered Havana cigars (the most expensive coming in at £34).  It might be cramped, we thought, but it’s got style.

The Red Lion

Address: 48 Parliament Street, SW1A 2NH

Nearest Station: Westminster

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Good

Cost of two pints and a vodka lemonade: £12.78 (London Pride)

Guest: Jim; Word: Fancy; Person: Prince Charles

Rating: 8/10

The Red Lion contains as many references to Westminster as it is humanly possible to fit into one pub.  To be fair, that’s understandable from a tavern located so close to the Houses of Parliament, but it’s hardly subtle – even the toilet doors are decorated to remind the visitor of 10 Downing Street.  Within the fairly classic style of a Fuller’s pub – think dark wood, gold, and massive chandeliers – are a number of Parliamentary additions, such as the portraits of Gladstone and Churchill which adorn the walls.  There are photos too of Wilson, Heath and Thatcher, each accompanied by associated paraphernalia: respectively, a pipe and a copy of Private Eye; sheet music and a baton; and a conical flask with the book Somerville for Women.  The staircase is also littered with pictures of Westminster Abbey and the Palace of Westminster.  Even if actual MPs are unlikely to be found in The Red Lion supping a pint (their own bar is cheaper), the casual drinker cannot possibly forget that he is enjoying a beverage in the heart of Westminster.

The Iron Duke

Address: 11 Avery Row, W1K 4AN

Nearest Station: Bond Street

Welcome: Good; Service: Good (SIT); Beer: Good; Toilets: Basic

Cost of two pints: £8.08 (London Pride)

Guest: Jim; Word: Boots; Person: General Melchett, Blackadder

Rating: 8/10

We’ve had the pleasure of the company of several different guests now on our tour of London pubs, and it’s fair to say that some have an easier task than others.  Tonight may have been the easiest.  Jim had reclaimed the role for our last pub of the evening, and found there could only be one word to describe The Iron Duke: ‘boots’ (although he added the phrase, “not the pharmacy”, lest there be any confusion).  There were boots everywhere in The Iron Duke.  Most of them were standing on wooden shelves on the walls; one acted as a lampstand on the bar.  The room upstairs is even called the Boot Room.  These references, combined with the Wellington College photos which adorned the walls and the name of the pub, should have given Jim an obvious person who would fit right in – but, unfortunately, someone else had chosen the Duke of Wellington for a different pub earlier in the year, so he selected General Melchett from the fourth series of Blackadder.